Watching this silly YouTube skit made me feel the strange sensation that we like to call "deja vu." I'm serious... I swear that I have had this same exact conversation, and with more than one patient, in my past. People kill me... they just kill me.
WATCH THIS
It's amazing how someone actually caught the hilarity of the entire situation in one computer generated skit... from what medication she was needing, to her list of allergies, to her asking for the "VIC" medication. I felt like I was at work all over again!
I would like to dedicate this to the patient I had the pleasure to deal with some time back. The patient who told us that she was at the hospital for her "pseudo-seizures." (No... I didn't ask if she knew what "pseudo" meant.) Then she complained to administration that the nurses caused her pseudo-seizures to worsen because they put ice in her water. ICE. That's what did her in... the ice. Not to mention that if you were truly having seizures, no nurse... not even a new grad, would give you something to drink OR that if you knew ice made your seizures worse... why the F*** did you drink the ice water?? She was one of those amazing and truly rare patients that could verbally communicate with us during seizure to tell us that she needed her IV shot of Ativan. So this video... it's for you lady... sorry we gave you ice.
Sunday, December 20, 2009
Saturday, December 19, 2009
Tips for putting up Christmas lights
Tip #1: If you recently had surgery on your back... which is a major procedure... I would NOT recommend climbing 10 feet up a ladder.
Tip #2: If you are going to climb up the ladder anyways... don't do it drunk. At night.
Tip #3: If you are over the age of... say 65... don't climb up a ladder. I'm not discounting anyone for their age here, I'm a firm believer that you are not old till you feel old, but seriously, you've worked hard for 65 years... just hire someone to do it. And in all honesty, if you are over 65 I imagine that you would have better things to do than spend the next month in the hospital and miss the holidays, all for some sparkly lights.
Tip #4: If you are over the age of 80 and you climb 15 feet up a ladder, then I think that you should be worked up for psychotic behavior. I also think that the person who allowed you to climb the ladder should have to be hospitalized too.
Tip #5: If you are going to climb a ladder to put up lights... consider the medications that you are on, and the risks involved. Like Coumadin, a serious blood thinner. If your doctor told you to be careful brushing your teeth because you have a risk of bleeding, I would think that falling off a ladder would be a risk to bleed (badly) too.
Tip #6: If you are going to put up Christmas lights, don't stand on your kitchen chair that you have balanced in the gravel yard. Because the gravel will win, your lights will not get put up, and your holiday photos will show two black eyes and a swollen nose. Makeup can't cover that up!
Tip #7: I think the kid down the street would like to make an extra 10-20 bucks, so pony up the money and hire the kid. Because 20 bucks is cheaper than a month in the hospital, it will hurt a whole lot less, and you will be home to enjoy the lights and not spending your holidays with me... at the hospital.
Tip #8: All of these tips are also applicable to taking DOWN the Christmas lights.
Tip #9: If you don't want to follow these suggestions, and you think it won't happen to you, please try to remember these few things when you are a patient... 1. It can and will happen to you, eventually. 2. You climbed the ladder, not me... so don't take it out of me. I'm here to help you and care for you, and I will, if you let me.
Tip #10: Have a happy and safe holiday season... and who cares if the lights get up or not!!
Tip #2: If you are going to climb up the ladder anyways... don't do it drunk. At night.
Tip #3: If you are over the age of... say 65... don't climb up a ladder. I'm not discounting anyone for their age here, I'm a firm believer that you are not old till you feel old, but seriously, you've worked hard for 65 years... just hire someone to do it. And in all honesty, if you are over 65 I imagine that you would have better things to do than spend the next month in the hospital and miss the holidays, all for some sparkly lights.
Tip #4: If you are over the age of 80 and you climb 15 feet up a ladder, then I think that you should be worked up for psychotic behavior. I also think that the person who allowed you to climb the ladder should have to be hospitalized too.
Tip #5: If you are going to climb a ladder to put up lights... consider the medications that you are on, and the risks involved. Like Coumadin, a serious blood thinner. If your doctor told you to be careful brushing your teeth because you have a risk of bleeding, I would think that falling off a ladder would be a risk to bleed (badly) too.
Tip #6: If you are going to put up Christmas lights, don't stand on your kitchen chair that you have balanced in the gravel yard. Because the gravel will win, your lights will not get put up, and your holiday photos will show two black eyes and a swollen nose. Makeup can't cover that up!
Tip #7: I think the kid down the street would like to make an extra 10-20 bucks, so pony up the money and hire the kid. Because 20 bucks is cheaper than a month in the hospital, it will hurt a whole lot less, and you will be home to enjoy the lights and not spending your holidays with me... at the hospital.
Tip #8: All of these tips are also applicable to taking DOWN the Christmas lights.
Tip #9: If you don't want to follow these suggestions, and you think it won't happen to you, please try to remember these few things when you are a patient... 1. It can and will happen to you, eventually. 2. You climbed the ladder, not me... so don't take it out of me. I'm here to help you and care for you, and I will, if you let me.
Tip #10: Have a happy and safe holiday season... and who cares if the lights get up or not!!
A new job... a new outlook
I know I have not posted any amazing stories in a while... but with good reason. At least I think it is a good reason =).
As I explained in my profile... I was becoming a slightly jaded nurse. Well, I took control of the situation and made a change. I was offered a new position and I jumped on it! So I've been busy with orientation to the new position and taking continuing education as all nurses should to continually improve their practice. So while I may not be AS jaded as I was feeling before... I've still found stupid people doing and saying stupid things.
So I'm back... and I've got stories!
As I explained in my profile... I was becoming a slightly jaded nurse. Well, I took control of the situation and made a change. I was offered a new position and I jumped on it! So I've been busy with orientation to the new position and taking continuing education as all nurses should to continually improve their practice. So while I may not be AS jaded as I was feeling before... I've still found stupid people doing and saying stupid things.
So I'm back... and I've got stories!
Thursday, November 5, 2009
TMI
We've all experienced the "Oh my God... that is too much information" moment. The TMI moment. You basically want to hit rewind... delete. Or wish for a sudden attack of amnesia. But since I couldn't do either, I will spread the wealth!
We admitted a patient last week after he was involved in an altercation and sustained a facial injury. Of course, the police showed up to take a statement and collect any information/ evidence that they needed. Due to the nature of the injury and the background information to the alteration, the police searched the patient. They found only 2 items on this patient... his ID and Axe body spray.
So the doctor, slightly jaded to these types of situations, asked the patient about the Axe body spray, "Do you huff this stuff?"
The patient (who does have gastritis mind you) responded, "No, I have sh*t-farts and I use it to cover up the odor."
WOW!!! TOO MUCH INFORMATION!!!! Rewind... rewind... rewind. Maybe a minor head injury with resulting amnesia?? HELP!
We admitted a patient last week after he was involved in an altercation and sustained a facial injury. Of course, the police showed up to take a statement and collect any information/ evidence that they needed. Due to the nature of the injury and the background information to the alteration, the police searched the patient. They found only 2 items on this patient... his ID and Axe body spray.
So the doctor, slightly jaded to these types of situations, asked the patient about the Axe body spray, "Do you huff this stuff?"
The patient (who does have gastritis mind you) responded, "No, I have sh*t-farts and I use it to cover up the odor."
WOW!!! TOO MUCH INFORMATION!!!! Rewind... rewind... rewind. Maybe a minor head injury with resulting amnesia?? HELP!
2am and bored??
I've never understood the patient that comes to the ED because of some "problem" at 2am and proceeds to tell us that the "problem" started 2 weeks ago.
You ask, "Is it getting worse? Is it different than it was when it STARTED 2 weeks ago?"
They answer, "No."
So really, 2am, in the ED, is the most convenient time for you to seek medical care? Are you so bored that you want to spice up your life with an expensive visit to your local ED? And when did the EMERGENCY part of 'Emergency Department' disappear? Because personally, I don't think that your non-worsening back pain that started 2 weeks ago constitutes an emergency... especially if you are walking around comfortably with a 2 year old on your hip and your cell phone to your ear.
So while it gives me and my colleagues job security... it still doesn't stop me from asking, WHY?
You ask, "Is it getting worse? Is it different than it was when it STARTED 2 weeks ago?"
They answer, "No."
So really, 2am, in the ED, is the most convenient time for you to seek medical care? Are you so bored that you want to spice up your life with an expensive visit to your local ED? And when did the EMERGENCY part of 'Emergency Department' disappear? Because personally, I don't think that your non-worsening back pain that started 2 weeks ago constitutes an emergency... especially if you are walking around comfortably with a 2 year old on your hip and your cell phone to your ear.
So while it gives me and my colleagues job security... it still doesn't stop me from asking, WHY?
Saturday, October 31, 2009
Ready... Set... DUCK
In my years as a nurse I've seen a lot of vomit. Not one of the perks of my job... but just a part of my job. I handle it with grace, as it generally doesn't really bother me. Not much really bothers a nurse, and if it does, you get over it real quick your first year.
But tonight... I saw something completely different.
I was helping a fellow nurse in her new patients room. He was in an accident after drinking and had broken a few bones. So here he was. He was not allowed to sit up in the bed at all, he had to lay flat in the bed (related to some of his injuries). We were cleaning him up and turning him from side to side. He is an alert and oriented patient. He knew where he was and he had the ability to verbalize with us his thoughts and feelings. However, he was not able to tell us when he decided to projectile vomit across the room. Now I have seen projectile vomiting... but this was amazing. It literally flew across the room, hit the wall with such force that it splattered all 4 walls and the ceiling. It was like a damn firework show! The lucky part of the situation was that the patient chose to turn towards his nurse... not to me. The unfortunate part of the situation was that it was rank old-alcohol-dinner vomit. UGH! So while I don't generally have issue with smell it surprised me when I started to dry heave and had to make my way out of the room. But the kicker of the WHOLE situation was that as I started to make my way to the closest phone to call for housekeeping... I noticed the other nurse in the room. This poor nurse was frozen in her tracks and completely covered in vomit. She had it in her hair... all over her scrubs... she was soaked (remember, we had no warning). I almost died.
As soon as I get out of the patients room I crack up hysterically... it's how I keep from just crying... but I can't even breath at this point. Luckily the other nurse followed me out of the room and laughed as well... think we were both in shock.
But don't worry, we got her new scrubs and a shower. The other nurse was a trooper last night... something tells me that I would have stripped down to my skivvies and gotten in my car and gone straight home to my shower OR I would have begged the ED to let me use the decon shower (and get a high pressure hose down!).
Ah... the Friday night before Halloween. How special. Mental note for next year...
But tonight... I saw something completely different.
I was helping a fellow nurse in her new patients room. He was in an accident after drinking and had broken a few bones. So here he was. He was not allowed to sit up in the bed at all, he had to lay flat in the bed (related to some of his injuries). We were cleaning him up and turning him from side to side. He is an alert and oriented patient. He knew where he was and he had the ability to verbalize with us his thoughts and feelings. However, he was not able to tell us when he decided to projectile vomit across the room. Now I have seen projectile vomiting... but this was amazing. It literally flew across the room, hit the wall with such force that it splattered all 4 walls and the ceiling. It was like a damn firework show! The lucky part of the situation was that the patient chose to turn towards his nurse... not to me. The unfortunate part of the situation was that it was rank old-alcohol-dinner vomit. UGH! So while I don't generally have issue with smell it surprised me when I started to dry heave and had to make my way out of the room. But the kicker of the WHOLE situation was that as I started to make my way to the closest phone to call for housekeeping... I noticed the other nurse in the room. This poor nurse was frozen in her tracks and completely covered in vomit. She had it in her hair... all over her scrubs... she was soaked (remember, we had no warning). I almost died.
As soon as I get out of the patients room I crack up hysterically... it's how I keep from just crying... but I can't even breath at this point. Luckily the other nurse followed me out of the room and laughed as well... think we were both in shock.
But don't worry, we got her new scrubs and a shower. The other nurse was a trooper last night... something tells me that I would have stripped down to my skivvies and gotten in my car and gone straight home to my shower OR I would have begged the ED to let me use the decon shower (and get a high pressure hose down!).
Ah... the Friday night before Halloween. How special. Mental note for next year...
The Crash Cart
So last night was by far one of the most hysterical nights of my life!!! By hysterical I mean, if I didn't start laughing (and stay laughing) I would have ended up in tears. And I hate to cry... for any reason... but especially out of frustration. At the end of my shift one of the tech's told me that I looked tired. Well.... YEAH, but thank you... I look like shit!
I will have many blog postings about last night... but I feel that I must start with the Crash Cart story... because it makes the least amount of sense to me. And it really was the starting point of my night. BTW, for my non-medical readers, the Crash Cart is the cart that they bring into the room when a patient has stopped being alive. It has the shock paddles (you know the medical shows, when they yell "clear") and all the other fun gadgets and drugs that we use to restart a life.
Well, this evening, on my ventures through my nursing unit I noticed that the crash cart was looking a little wonky... so I went to do my check on it and found that it had been opened and not put back together and locked. Which is unusual, but not altogether impossible, sometimes in a pinch we will break into the cart to find a piece of equipment that seems to be eluding us. But generally, we immediately return to the cart and replace the borrowed item with a new one and lock the cart back up. And to add to my dismay, someone had done me the favor of pulling all of the latex gloves OUT of the box and leaving them strewn all over the cart. Helpful... really. So I clean up the situation and put the cart back together. (For those of you who have had to do a cart check... tedious and time-sucking work).
So I walk up to some nurses on the unit and told them about what I found. To which one of the techs told me that he saw some group of ADULT visitors rifling through the cart.
Well... that changes my opinion of a few things... including how my friday night was going to go.
First... WHY the hell would you see something like this and not a) stop them or b) tell someone else so that they could stop them!!
Two... as a visitor, WTF do you want that could possibly be in a crash cart? And... if you were looking for drugs... the only ones that we really have will either stop your beating heart, start your non-beating heart, put you in a coma (which will stop your breathing), and other such non-entertaining medications. And to top it off, the drug section of the cart... which is the visible TOP of the cart, is still sealed and safe. So the visitors were rifling through the drawers for what??
Three... who has the balls to just break into a cart in a nursing unit with people milling around 24/ 7, looking for some unknown medical equipment. (But then again... they did it, witnessed, and got away with it.)
And Four... these visitors were adults. Adults!!! Aren't they supposed to know better?? Another fine example.
So... deep breath... WELCOME FRIDAY NIGHT.
I will have many blog postings about last night... but I feel that I must start with the Crash Cart story... because it makes the least amount of sense to me. And it really was the starting point of my night. BTW, for my non-medical readers, the Crash Cart is the cart that they bring into the room when a patient has stopped being alive. It has the shock paddles (you know the medical shows, when they yell "clear") and all the other fun gadgets and drugs that we use to restart a life.
Well, this evening, on my ventures through my nursing unit I noticed that the crash cart was looking a little wonky... so I went to do my check on it and found that it had been opened and not put back together and locked. Which is unusual, but not altogether impossible, sometimes in a pinch we will break into the cart to find a piece of equipment that seems to be eluding us. But generally, we immediately return to the cart and replace the borrowed item with a new one and lock the cart back up. And to add to my dismay, someone had done me the favor of pulling all of the latex gloves OUT of the box and leaving them strewn all over the cart. Helpful... really. So I clean up the situation and put the cart back together. (For those of you who have had to do a cart check... tedious and time-sucking work).
So I walk up to some nurses on the unit and told them about what I found. To which one of the techs told me that he saw some group of ADULT visitors rifling through the cart.
Well... that changes my opinion of a few things... including how my friday night was going to go.
First... WHY the hell would you see something like this and not a) stop them or b) tell someone else so that they could stop them!!
Two... as a visitor, WTF do you want that could possibly be in a crash cart? And... if you were looking for drugs... the only ones that we really have will either stop your beating heart, start your non-beating heart, put you in a coma (which will stop your breathing), and other such non-entertaining medications. And to top it off, the drug section of the cart... which is the visible TOP of the cart, is still sealed and safe. So the visitors were rifling through the drawers for what??
Three... who has the balls to just break into a cart in a nursing unit with people milling around 24/ 7, looking for some unknown medical equipment. (But then again... they did it, witnessed, and got away with it.)
And Four... these visitors were adults. Adults!!! Aren't they supposed to know better?? Another fine example.
So... deep breath... WELCOME FRIDAY NIGHT.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
