Thanks, I know...

So speaking of patients going 'against medical advice' (AMA) it brings back a recent interaction I had with another loser patient.

When a patient decides that they no longer want our care (or our free food and warm bed) and the doctors have not medically cleared the patient from the hospital, the only option for the patient is to leave the hospital AMA. I am not a prison guard, if you want to leave I'm not going to stop you (unless you are psychologically unsafe to yourself or others). Chances are that if you are so unhappy that you want to leave the hospital you are probably going to make my life just as unhappy, or worse. So go... but let me tell you a few things. You don't have to listen... just look at me, and when I ask if you understand, just say yes.

So this loser patient was in the hospital for a few days making all our lives hell. Apparently we couldn't fix him up fast enough (after he got his face broken for being an a**hole while he was drunk) for him to get discharged. I know, I know... my miracle worker was off that week. So I entered the patients room to cover a few legal points of leaving AMA. First, I go over the risks of leaving AMA... which always includes "up to and including death." That rarely gets the patients to bat an eye. Second, I make sure the patient is aware of the fact that their medical insurance 'may OR may not' cover their hospitalization, I tell the patient that they may be held financially responsible for their entire hospitalization. Some patients decide to stay when they hear this... who doesn't know how expensive that can be!!

Well, the impatient loser that was ready to leave AMA heard this last part about the insurance and promptly told me... "I don't have insurance any ways, so it looks like you are going to have to pay for my hospitalization whether I stay or not."

Thanks, I know... my tax dollars at work. Now get...